What To Expect When You ‘re NOT Expecting

When I was a teenager, the thought of pregnancy did cross my mind in terms of the scary mentality when PSA’s ads, rumors from friends and relatives were constantly reminding about having a baby out of wedlock could means that your social life and everything around you is over. Having to sacrifice everything for the sake of the baby is a double edge sword. Having to face the bad stares of even strangers and the humiliation it implies it seems too much to bear. I saw first hand the disintegration of traditional marriage (gay people have nothing to do with it) by teenage pregnancy that caused it. Instead, I dedicated my energies somewhere else.

And I took care of myself physically by being safe. Believe it or not I waited until I was 26. I didn’t get married until I was 30. But I didn’t know I was struck on an issue that is as secretive and hush hush such as infertility. Although there’s millions of women suffering in silence whether if its medical, physical or emotional, the issue of trying to become pregnant unsuccessfully is not as a big issue as teenage pregnancy by society standards. But there’s programs to eliminate a percent of unwanted pregnancies from agencies like Planned Parenthood, contraceptives, condoms and Plan B pills if there’s an accident. Mostly are low priced and even free. But when it comes to bring a child into this world and you want to know what’s going on because you tried, even with ovulation charts, temperature and all that, you have to pay an arm and a leg for “experimental” procedures the most common is IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization). Most couples are struggling in this crappy economy and struggling to conceive. Insurance companies don’t cover IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization), so what choice do they have? Applying for loans? Charity? Asking for money? And time for some have given out on that and opt for “adoption”. But what about couples who can’t fit into the adoption mold? Should they have to give up on that too?

For my experience, keeping my reproductive problems silenced from my family, friends and co-workers is unfair as well as insane. If women brag constantly about pregnancy, baby clothes and hospital stays why not talking about infertility? A woman who tried everything, and yet nothing happened inside her womb yet, mentally is a wreck, physically is a let go and spiritually is in limbo. Being a woman who can’t have children of their own is being stripped on her natural role, her natural humanity and have to learn to ignore and move on like we’re just robots.

About financial issues, if you are living paycheck to paycheck, chances are you’re never gonna be able to have kids. There’s no financial help from the government about fertility issues unless you move to Canada where it’s covered. It’s a lose-lose situation.

If there’s a lot of programs free or income scale for pregnant teens, perhaps non-profit agencies could get more help for infertile women achieve pregnancy by doing the same thing. It’s unfair that millions of women (including me) have to deal with the pain, embarrassment, silence of not be able to have kids and deal with the humiliation that it carries.


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