I Regret Relaxing My Hair


The concept of being proud of myself for who I am doesn’t fit me well. As a Hispanic woman of color or African-Hispanic Female I survived a lot of bullying from first grade to high school. Being denied of getting the right job, even though I had an Associates (now having an AS doesn’t mean shit these days) in what I studied, and failed to get the job I wanted having dysfunctional relationships because of the concept of what to expect when you see a “Black” woman isn’t what I deserved in life either. There were one case that my ex-boyfriend’s father in law didn’t like me because of the color of my skin. And that wasn’t in the US. It happened in Puerto Rico. Do you guys think that Puerto Rico have a lot of whitey, whitey folks? Nope. We’re mixed with Taino (which is the Native Puerto Rican Indian nearly extinct), Spaniard and African. But still racism wasn’t in the open, it was behind closed doors. But to cut this short, as soon as I came here to the US, I never thought that discrimination, racism and worst of all rejection because of my color in which people will rather hire a no-brains, drug addicted person than me, affected my self esteem so violently.

As a woman of color I never have a role model besides Wonder Woman and she wasn’t colored. I didn’t have someone who can really relate for some years and I was constantly trying to “assimilate the American Culture” being someone that wasn’t myself from the style of my hair to my clothing. But still people find me repulsive and they didn’t have the chance to know me as a hard working with sense of humor, kind person that I am. I’m not saying to exaggerate my story, I say it because it happened so many times.

And not only that, moving into a town that doesn’t have no diversity really made things worst for me from socializing, to get a job and try to not lose my cool into situations that if I wasn’t different it wouldn’t bother me. Don’t know why this country have their roots of racism and hatred for dark skin or African-American or any other nationality so strong? Everybody says United we Stand, but I wonder with their own kind only? Besides, they came to this country and nearly extinct the Native American Indians to the point they’re exile in reservations, so I wonder where the “Proud of being an American” stands for?

And now this, I decided to relax my hair. The term hair relaxing means you either get a beautician to chemically induce your curly, nappy hair and make it straight and manageable or you can get it at a beauty supply store and follow instructions (under the terms under your own risk) to use it. I have curly hair for a year and a half after so and so years of relaxing it, and coloring from Blonde to Red, and back to Black and Brown. I didn’t have no issues about it instead it makes me more Afrocentric than anything else. Not only that, I learn stories besides Rosa Parks. There were women like me who endured a lot and survived. The singer soprano Barbara Smith Conrad, who got discriminated by the University of Texas for not allowing her perform in her student opera. She went higher than that by finishing her Bachelor in Music in ’59 to become a great opera singer at the MAC in New York City and around the world. Sara Baartman, the woman that was looking for fame was named “Hottentot Venus”, because of her voluptuous body exhibited as a “freak show” in Europe and was treated with the most denigrating conditions socially, emotionally and sexually. And not all, after she died, her brains, skelletons and genitals were preserved and placed on display in the Musee de l Homme in Paris until 1974, and was put in out of view. She was laid to rest in incredibly in 2002. Gabrielle Douglas a talented gymnast who was severally criticized because of her hair got to win the gold at this year Olympics. Gabourney Sibide, a breakout star for performing the movie “Precious” also criticized for her color and weight. And now, Rhoda Lee, a meteorologist for KTBS, a TV news station in Louisiana who despite her exceptional knowledge and expertize in weather, was fired for her job because she replied a guy (I mean loser) on Facebook because of her hair.

His ignorant comment was: the black lady that does the news is a very nice lady.the only thing is she needs to wear a wig or grow some more hair. im not sure if she is a cancer patient. but still its not something myself that i think looks good on tv. what about letting someone a male have waist long hair do the news.what about that?

Her response: Hello Emmitt–I am the ‘black lady’ to which you are referring. I’m sorry you don’t like my ethnic hair. And no I don’t have cancer. I’m a non-smoking, 5’3, 121 lbs, 25 mile a week running, 37.5 year old woman, and I’m in perfectly healthy physical condition.

I am very proud of my African-American ancestry which includes my hair. For your edification: traditionally our hair doesn’t grow downward. It grows upward. Many Black women use strong straightening agents in order to achieve a more European grade of hair and that is their choice. However in my case I don’t find it necessary. I’m very proud of who I am and the standard of beauty I display. Women come in all shapes, sizes, nationalities, and levels of beauty. Showing little girls that being comfortable in the skin and HAIR God gave me is my contribution to society. Little girls (and boys for that matter) need to see that what you look like isn’t a reason to not achieve their goals.

Conforming to one standard isn’t what being American is about and I hope you can embrace that.

Thank you for your comment and have a great weekend and thank for watching.

For that, she got fired. What happened to another reporter who gave a rant to another ignorant dumbass because of her weight? Did the TV Station fired her? Nope, the TV station was supported 100%. But why Rhonda Lee endured was because she spoke her mind about her looks and did it in a professional way. I know one thing that we excel from African Descent people, we always rise when others put us down into the ground so many times. Too bad I just relaxed my hair instead of keeping my curls to express my support of being proud of who I am and what I’m endured.

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