I have been having a hard time writing stuff. My job isn’t a dream job. It’s slavery, with a base of living to paycheck to paycheck to pay the bills and less time going out or not going out at all. By the way, where I should go out to the point of having fun without using my debit card? There’s no way or place! So World of Warcraft, DC Universe and some video games will help me blow some steam. Rather than using real violence to people that I don’t like, because they don’t like me.
I don’t have friends, I only have acquaintances that don’t visit me and I don’t expect them to so do. I used to have a best friend that visit me, went to thick and thin for 5 years and all of the sudden she changed because her boyfriend cheated on her and started lying and worst case scenario stealing and abusing Vicodins. She stole $30.00 of my savings jar of Christmas. And by the way, I called her and she said: “I don’t want to visit you, but “I love you”. It caused me a severe depression that I just overcame without help from stupid people. Greedy assholes who won’t help when they don’t see a 20 or 50 dollar bill. That’s why I’m better off without friends.
Yes, I do have a mental problem. It’s called It’s not of your business. If you want to help, don’t come here and act that you have all the blows and whistles to then tell me I have to pay you. It sound like you’re a whore than a counselor or psychiatrist. And if you don’t take care of me, in terms of calling me when you have some emergency I will disappear. I endured a lot.. From rejections to being bullied, to be physically and sexual abused and you think my life is funny because of my color of my skin while you receive a high paycheck for doing absolutely nothing. Thank God I’m paying the consequences everyday, ever since I changed my mind on killing myself. I don’t have nothing to fight for. Don’t have kids, my life isn’t what I expected to have and you think that I have to suck it up and live with it while you drive the latest car, have a trophy husband and you can go out shopping? That’s plain unfair! My life have to be a certain way or nothing at all from the day I wake up to the day I sleep with no effort, no setbacks and no failures. And I’m doing all the opposite and I’m tired of it.